Please stop asking me when I'm going to get married!

I recently brought a male friend to church, and he told me later that afternoon that people were winking at him during the service! We laughed, but I was actually disgusted by what this reflects of a much deeper issue. 

Some day, I would love to meet and marry a godly man who God wants me to 'do life' with. Right now though, I have no idea who that man is and believe it or not, that's okay and I'm happy!

I don't always love being single - my closest friends can definitely vouch for that. But the truth is that my life is about so much more than my relationship status. My life is great and I am so blessed and I am so happy. I live and work in a beautiful part of the world where I get to hang out with young people and introduce them to Jesus. I live close enough to the beach to just go there spontaneously for an evening. I have real meaningful friendships with wonderful people all around the world, many of whom I get to enjoy so much time with. I have a fantastic, supportive and loving family... I am blessed in so many ways, and just because I don't have a ring on my finger doesn't mean that I'm not happy or whole.

The thing is, especially in Christian circles, there is so much pressure. Even when people don't say it as bluntly, the message is the same; "when are you going to meet a nice boy and start a relationship?" I can't count how many people have actually said to my face that I should get a boyfriend.

"Oh do you think so? Okay, I'll go find one this afternoon!"

Telling me that I should get a boyfriend isn't going to make me get one - it's just going to make me believe that without one, I'm not enough. Asking me when I'm going to get married isn't going to make me find my husband, it's just going to make me wish that I'd already met him. Telling me that when you were my age you were already married and had a child is only going to make me feel like you think I'm somehow getting life wrong.

A man will not complete me - Jesus will. So if you want to talk relationships, ask me how my relationship with Jesus is going. Ask me what God has put on my heart lately. Ask me what I'm learning and what I'm struggling with and what I'm enjoying in my life.

Song of songs says repeatedly "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires". And I plan not to. My life started 21 years ago - and for most of those 21 years I have been single, and God has been using me, and I have been having a brilliant life. Some day, I hope to meet a godly man who I can begin a relationship with and eventually marry. But I will continue to be me and to be used by God, the difference will be that I will have the blessing of sharing that with my husband. But until then, I will continue to enjoy my life as a happy, blessed and fulfilled person.

So please, please, stop telling me and my single brothers and sisters that you were married at our age. Please stop asking us when we're going to begin a relationship. Please stop asking us whether we've found a 'nice young man (or girl)'. When we do, and we want you to know about it, we will let you know.

(One of) The Best Jobs in the World

Call me mad but this weekend I took a group of 8-18 year olds camping at SPREE 2015! Our young people spent the weekend playing on inflatables, swimming, squirting each other with water pistols and making fires. We ate some amazing food, ran around in the woods, sat on the grass making friendship bracelets and chatted about God's love and rescue plan.

Youth work is exhausting... somehow, in a weekend we attempted to build relationships, introduce young people to Jesus, keep them hydrated and fed, prevent sunburn, deal with scrapes, not lose anyone, entertain everyone, find lost possessions, teach kids how to be responsible, answer really deep theological questions... I could go on! And all that on 4 hours sleep! (Yes, they got up with the sun at 5am!)

But the truth is, although I came home on Sunday evening with absolutely no energy left, I came home with a real gratitude to God for the work that I get to do. I may deal with a lot of drama and madness and yes, sometimes my young people drive me slightly crazy, but I have a love for them beyond any capacity I ever thought myself capable of. I get to chat and laugh and cry with them. I get to pray with them and share my faith with them. I get to watch them grow as they let God transform them and I get to journey with them through their struggles and trials.

2 years ago the one thing that I was sure I would never do was youth work - I wasn't cool enough or capable enough for that... but as I've trusted him, God has shown me what it means to let him work through us. 2 years ago I didn't think myself capable of loving this many people this much, but as I've prayed, God has grown my heart to truly and genuinely love these young people in a way that only he can, and has opened my eyes to see these young people how he sees them.

So whether I'm cleaning up mess, comforting a frightened 10 year old, disciplining a cheeky teenager or praying with an excited group of young girls, I do it all from a place of love that only my heavenly Father can make. I do it all only because my God is so much bigger than my own abilities and self-expectations and I give him all the glory and thanks because he's blessed me so much to spend my time investing in these precious young lives.