I really struggle with small talk.
I love friendships and conversations that are sincere and deep. There is a time and a place for small talk and for discussing the weather and the price of eggs, but the heart of our friendships is formed on real conversation which demands honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favourite questions to ask my friends are 'what has God been teaching you lately?' and 'how is your heart?' - a question which says 'how are you?' without permission for an answer of 'I'm fine, how are you?'.
I want to ask my friends questions which demonstrate to them that I really care about how they really are. I want to know about their struggles and their achievements, the things that they're excited about and the things that they fear. I want to have conversations about the things that we're learning. I want to reflect on life together and grow together.
It's in these conversations that friendships grow deep and that life really happens.
Deep conversations demand vulnerability. It's scary to share what's on your heart with another human being. But being willing to be vulnerable with the people we choose to be friends with is one of the most profitable things that we can do. It demonstrates trust, aids understanding and grows love.
In a few weeks time I'll be speaking at a youth event with the title 'Faith is Relational'. Its something I'm looking forward to exploring and writing because for a long time I've held the conviction that the most important things in life are our relationships with others. But if the best relationships with friends are the ones where we are willing to be vulnerable and share the depths of our hearts, surely the same applies to God?
So many of our prayers are questions and requests... but some of the most powerful prayers are different from that. Some of the most powerful prayers are the one's where we just talk, where we say "God I'm so frustrated! I can't believe that this of all things would decide to happen today!" or "God I've had a brilliant day today, this happened and that happened and I'm so excited about this!"
God wants our hearts, not our lists. He is a relational God and he cares so deeply about each of us. Just like I want to hear from my friends about what is on their hearts, God wants the same from us. He wants us to trust him and love him and he wants to be there when we need to vent and when we want to get excited.
We're created as relational people and I truly believe that life is fuller when we're more open - with one another and with God.
So... How's your heart?
