Around 2 years ago, I wrote a blog post called 'Please stop asking me when I'm going to get married!' ...shortly afterwards the guy I'd written about in that post; the one whom the ladies at church had been winking at(!), asked me to be his girlfriend. We've had the most wonderful months since then, getting to know one another and doing our best to figure out how we do this 'dating' thing as Christians in a way that best honours God and honours each other.
So for those who kept asking me when I was going to meet 'a nice young man,' I now can point them in the direction of my best friend - a 'nice young man' who's love for God drew my heart to his.
...but the question hasn't gone away, and with our lives becoming more and more filled with news of friends' engagements, weddings and even babies, it only seems to be becoming all the more frequent.
As though maybe we've made such a big decision and chosen not to tell you...?!
I love this 'nice young man' with all my heart, and I can't imagine a future without him, but if we choose to spend that future together, it's likely to last a long time... so I'd rather know that we've both taken the time we need to be sure of our choice to love one another for the entirety of it. And until then, I'd rather spend the present living in the present.
I know your question is well meant; a desire to celebrate with us? A gentle nudge towards what you think will be a great life for us? ...but in all honesty, it's not helping with that whole 'living in the present' thing.
Thank you; genuinely, for your well meant thoughts. But can I suggest something else?
Next time you want to ask whether that question has been asked, ask us instead what we're learning about love. Ask us what we're learning about Jesus through one another. Ask us how we're doing with figuring out the way we're choosing to date as Christians.
...the truth is, our lives are about more than our relationship status (thank God!). Married or not, we will have good days and bad days, we will be learning and growing, hoping and dreaming, struggling and celebrating. We will be running towards Jesus and doing our best to live our lives in the way that he designed us to live them... and we'd love to share them with you!
🙂Well said, Lorna!
ReplyDeleteits between you both and God,nobody else,take your time ,I know the pain of being asked,'when are you having a baby ' when we were struggling to conceive.People are so often desperate for the happy ending that they lose sight of the people in the story, trying to see God's will ,we will be praying for you both x
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