Life After Uni

So, in the last 8 months I've finished uni, left the place I called home for 3 years, travelled around Italy, started a new job, moved into my own flat in a new place, joined a new church... and then life kind of settled down.

So in the interest of 'being real' and sharing about how life really is, here is one of a few lessons I've learned about 'life after uni'...

The years between leaving school and starting a job seem to be a blur of new places, new people, learning about yourself, learning about life, trips, travelling, essays, adventures, love, laughter, making crazily scary decisions about the rest of your life, squeezing as much life out of life as you can while you're relatively free of responsibility... I could go on.

I've spent the last 4 years absolutely relishing the adventure that life has been and I got used to the fast-paced, 'what-on-earth-is-coming-next?' kind of life...

But now I have a full time job, rent to pay, my friends are busy with work (as am I!) and are far away ...so what free time I have tends to be a pretty predictable pattern of time spent with my family and my boyfriend, time spent in front of the sink tackling the never-ending mountain of washing up that accumulates when you don't have a dishwasher but like to bake... and time spent with the Friends box-set that a friend from church lent me!

Things just aren't so exciting anymore. Don't get me wrong, there's so much about life that is so wonderful and that brings me so much joy... I love my job, and I love my new church and village. I love the variety and the banter and the wonderful people I'm surrounded by. I love being able to see so much more of my family and Tim. I love figuring out how to do life as an adult and I love the space and freedom that comes with living on my own for a while. But I'm having to come to terms with the fact that life has seasons of excitement and seasons of calmness. And it's taking me a while to get used to slowing down.

...Perhaps I should make the most of the peace while it lasts?

What I wish I'd believed at 13

I watch the young girls that I work with and I see so many patterns repeated in their lives from my own story... If I could write a letter to my girls to make them believe the things that would have been helpful to me at their age, it would go something like this...

Celebrate what makes you different.
In school, it seems like everyone has to fit it. Anything that makes you different is something that people might dislike about you - something that might make you noticeable for all the wrong reasons. But the truth is that often, once you get into the adult world, those are the things that make you unique - those are the things that people remember and love about you! Embrace who you are and don't hide in order to be like everyone else.

School isn't everything.
I'm not saying don't try your best and I'm not saying drop out of school... but I am saying that you don't need to panic about grades and you don't need to feel guilty about actually having a life outside of school work. There is so much more to learn in life than the stuff they teach you in school and you're only going to learn it if you get out there and live!

Relationships can wait.
Something I never would have believed when I was your age is that 8 years later - at 21, I would be so thankful that I didn't get into a serious relationship at your age. It seems like there are couples everywhere and sometimes all you want is a boyfriend who will walk through school holding hands with you and kiss you as you get on the school bus. Relationships are amazing, but they can also cause a lot of pain and a lot of regret - I would encourage you not to rush into it. Read about it, talk about it, pray about it... but wait for it!

Your parents are probably right.
Now, I could be wrong, because parents are people too and we all screw up and make mistakes, but if your parents are anything like mine, they only want what they think is best for you - and you can't deny that they've had a whole lot more life experience than you have! Sometimes even if its not what you want to hear, their advice can be pretty good and worth actually listening to.

You haven't met everyone yet.
We don't all click with everyone we meet, and if you haven't found some amazing life long friends at school that doesn't mean you're going to be alone forever - there are probably going to be so many people in your life who you will share so much with, and you simply haven't met them yet!

God is interested in you.
We all hear that God loves us, but you need to understand how true that is! He wants you. He loves you and he wants you to love him. He wants you to spend time with him... and he's great company! Invest in your relationship with him and start right now.

Now is Great

"So what are you going to do after you graduate?" must be the most common question that I get asked at the moment. 
The truth is, just like most other people I know who are at the same stage in their lives; I'm less sure now that I ever have been...

In our over organised British culture, this can be a terrifying place to be.

My life is dotted with lists and spreadsheets and calendars. I have always loved to plan - I love to know what's happening next and what I need to do now to be ready for it.

But now, with one year left of my degree, I don't know what's next. I don't know whether I'll get a job or an internship or go travelling or study more... I don't know where I'll live or who I'll live with, I don't know how much money I'll have and what my budget will be. I don't know. And I'm learning that that is okay. 

I'm learning that "now is great" and that enjoying the moment is an incredibly fulfilling way to live. 

How do I reconcile this with my ever-British compulsive need to have a plan? ...well, I do have a plan - I just don't know what it is!...

A good friend of mine from Uganda recently asked me what my expectations were for a Christian festival that I'm going to. He was genuinely shocked by my answer; "I don't know... whatever God wants to do." My friend explained that its such a counter-cultural attitude compared to his experience of most English people (and his experience of me a couple of years back!). Its an attitude that I'm learning to embrace because I know that my God has a plan and I don't always have to know what it is.

So what am I going to do after I graduate? I'm going to love God and love the people he puts in front of me. I'm going to do my best to trust him and follow him wherever he takes me and do whatever he asks me to do. I'm going to embrace not knowing because I never imagined that life would be how it is now, but God brought me here and now is great!

Let's not get so caught up in trying to figure out what to do next that we forget to live right now. Let's not worry so much about the future that we miss what's going on around us in the moment. Life is brilliant! Embrace it! Stop and look around and soak in all the details of a life you're living right now. Put the future into God's hands because there will always be a future to worry about but there is only ever one 'right now'.

Ali and David

I believe that a huge part of discipleship happens when we serve God by serving others, and along the way we learn more about him and about how we can live for him.

Two of my friends on the island are planning a trip next year that I'm so excited about because I know how much God can and will do in others and in them through their trip. Two of the things that I'm most passionate about are discipleship and social justice... and I think this trip will incorporate both.

My friends are planning to go to a country in the South East of Africa called Mozambique. God is doing some amazing things in Mozambique, and he's doing a lot of it through Iris Ministries. Ali and David are planning to spend some time working at Iris with some beautiful, precious people who rely on Jesus for their most basic needs.

Both of them light up when they talk about Mozambique... its so clear to see that God is in this plan. They are two of the most inspirational people I know and I'm not even exaggerating - their love and passion for Jesus blows me away and their obedience to him is incredible.

I'm so excited for both of them as they follow Jesus into this adventure, and I fully expect that he will use them there, but also that he will turn their worlds upside down and inside out, he will show them a new perspective, he will challenge them about things they have never considered and he will just grow in them hearts that are more like his own.

I really want to support Ali and David in this trip. They are both amazing, Godly, inspirational people who are just running towards Jesus and obediently going where he is calling them. I would love to encourage anyone who can, to lift them both in prayer over the coming months as they prepare and fund-raise. My prayer is that they will fall even more in love with Jesus, that God will grow in them hearts that are broken for the things that break his, that they will experience the privilege of being a part of God's plans and simply become more and more like him as he uses them to do the same for others.

If you don't know Ali & David but would like to support them in more ways than prayer, give me a shout and I'll be really happy to pass anything on!

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Have a look at my youth work blog at http://gunvillemethodistyouthwork.blogspot.co.uk/

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Joy

I am so lucky to have what I have. Through the generosity of others and the grace of God I live in a heated house with my own bedroom, I sleep in a comfortable bed and eat three meals a day, I have my own phone and laptop and even a car.

And yet, sometimes all I want is to sleep on a thin foam mattress on a concrete floor under a net. I want to walk to the bore hole to fetch some water so that I can bathe outside and wash my clothes in a bucket. I want to spend hours picking stones and dirt out of beans and rice and then cook them over charcoal. I want to sit on the floor in the evenings reading the bible by candlelight with friends and singing worship to our incredible God.

Evening devotions in Kuffu 2013

I’m so grateful for the incredible generosity that people have shown to me, but I believe that joy has very little to do with the things that we have. The reason that I love life in the village so much is not because I enjoy carrying jerry cans full of water and sweating over a charcoal stove, but because these things remind me of a truly joyful time; a time when I discovered that joy is so much deeper and so much simpler than the things that we think we need. I was living and working with people I loved, doing what we all knew that God had called us to. We had no flushing toilets or running water, let alone electricity or internet, so we spent our free time talking, singing, reading and praying. We invested our time in our relationships with each other and with God rather than in our Facebook profiles and the shows we might watch on TV.

Kuffu bore hole 2013

When we strip away all the "stuff" we have, we might think that life would be difficult. For some people; those who really do have less than they need, life actually is difficult and that is a total injustice. But that's a whole different issue (and don't get me started!)... When we know that the necessities are taken care of, we give ourselves a chance to come back to a much a simpler way of a life and to realize that all the luxuries have very little effect on how happy we really are.

In the UK, society is constantly telling us that we need more things and more comfort… but perhaps sometimes we need to stop listening to that, and to realise where our joy really comes from. My most joyful moments are not those when I watch a film or check Facebook; they're times when I'm with friends and family and doing the things I know that God has called me to. I feel the most blessed not when I eat a good meal or curl up in a warm bed, but when I get to see God at work and to know that he's let me play a small part in that. 

Whether I'm in a rural village in the middle of Uganda, or a little town in the middle of the Isle of Wight, I believe that the things I have or don't have will have very little effect on my true joy. That is something that comes through relationships - with those people that God places in our lives and above all; with God himself. In these, I know that I'm truly blessed wherever I am in the world!

If you want to find out about my life as a student youth worker on the Isle of Wight, have a read of my other blog at http://gunvillemethodistyouthwork.blogspot.co.uk/

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