More joy than we realise!

I recently watched a film called 'Hector and the Search for Happiness' (as recommended by my amazing Mum and made possible by the fact that my boyfriend left his Netflix account logged in on my laptop!) In the film, Hector travels the world asking people whether they're happy and recording his findings about how people can be happy. He discovers things like 

'Happiness is feeling truly alive' 

'Making comparisons can spoil your happiness'

'Happiness is being loved for who you are'.

'Sweet potato stew!' 

Happiness and joy have been things I've been thinking about a lot lately. There seem to be so many people in the world, and even just among the group of people I spend time with, who seem to struggle to find it. Hey, I I think we all do sometimes, and that's okay! But read on...

Another of Hector's observations was;

'Avoiding unhappiness is not the road to happiness.'

I really think our friend Hector might be on to something here. When I think about times I've been most happy, it hasn't been when I've set out to be happy, or to avoid being sad - it's just been a natural product of whatever situation I've been in. Times when I go out to spend time with a friend and we end up creasing up at stories we share, or I set out to help someone out and then enjoy a brilliant conversation with them, or I set my mind to achieving something new and as a result I find joy in the things I learn and the sense of accomplishment. These things might also bring us struggles, disappointments and trouble, but they are also much more likely to bring us joy than simply setting out to 'be happy' and I think we need to appreciate that more! Authentic joy can't be planned and created... but it can be experienced. 

A friend of mine recently gave me a Christian Aid Collective booklet, and in the front page it has this quote...

'All around you, people will be tiptoeing through life, just to arrive at death safely. But dear children, do not tiptoe. Run, hop, skip or dance, just don't tiptoe.'

Shane Claiborne

What if we stopped worrying so much about things that might be difficult and instead started to look around us and appreciate the things that bring us joy and make us happy right now? There will always be struggles in life, but if we focus on them, we'll miss the joy! What if we spent more time talking about and appreciating the things that make us happy than the things that make us sad? I expect there might just be more joy in life than we realise :)

The best job in the world

A Facebook friend recently posted a quote from Pete Greig on Facebook which said "I think that being a youth worker is one of the hardest, most important and most undervalued jobs in the country."

In many ways, I absolutely agree. I know so many youth workers who are so often under-appreciated and misunderstood. It's one of those jobs that involves a lot more than what most people see... 

My friends probably think I spend all my time making a fool of myself, dressing up with pants on my head and chasing young people around. My young people probably think I spend all my time reading my Bible (either that or sleeping at the church the same way kids assume their teachers live at school!). I can imagine there are those who assume I spend all my time chilling out and occasionally leading a youth group in the evening. I like to think I spend all my time having life changing conversations with young people and leading them to God, but I'm all too aware of the truth, which is that often, the majority of my time is taken up with paperwork and meetings!

It would be easy to write a blog arguing the case for over-worked and undervalued youth workers, but I don't want to do that... because this evening I've just come back from a youth group where I had the chance to share the gospel with my young people and to see them respond. I got to work with a fantastic team of servant hearted volunteers and to spend my evening with a bunch of young people who make me laugh and celebrate life!

Youth work is hard, but it's fantastic. I love the variety and the challenge in seeing a need, having an idea, and doing everything necessary to make it happen. I love the process of walking alongside a young person as they journey through life. I love getting to watch God change people's lives. I love the variety of serious and ridiculous - I might be working at a computer in the morning, but come evening I'll be wearing a pair of tights on my head with a tennis ball in the end, trying to knock over a bottle before my opponent beats me to it! 

I might work weird and irregular hours and do a whole load of behind the scenes often unappreciated work, (and I might regret writing this in a few days or weeks time!) but I really do think youth work is brilliant. I think young people are brilliant and I think loads of our volunteers are brilliant and I think God is brilliant and I'm so glad that I get to work with them all!

When did church become a once a week event?

When did church become something that we go to on a Sunday morning? 

It might seem like a ridiculous question to ask - I've been going to church almost every Sunday morning for the past 22 years. I've been to church in countries all around the world, in different languages, with different styles of music and varying qualities of teaching... but they're all relatively similar... and yet when I look at the Bible it doesn't really seem to fit with what I think a Biblical idea of 'church' looks like.

When I look to the Bible, my understanding of church is that its a community... but who ever heard of a community that 'happened' for two hours in a building once a week? What if we stopped understanding church as an event and started actively and intentionally doing life with the other Jesus followers in our communities? 

What if we shared meals together and painted houses together and went for walks together, and called that 'church'? 
If church is community, we need to be intentional about friendship in a time when individualism is taking over. We were made to be relational, but it seems to me as though many of us are forgetting what that looks like... sometimes we need to be brave enough to share our free time with other people. We need to invite people into our homes and share the simple things that we enjoy with other people, to create memories and build friendships.

What if we raised money together and adopted children together and visited the lonely together, and called that 'church'? 
The church is called to reach out into a hurting world. We're called to bring the love and light of Jesus to those who don't know him - so let's make this our 'normal' and lets make it something that we do together.

What if we studied the bible together and taught each other about what we've been learning, and called that 'church'? 
God loves and speaks to all of us... and it's not just with non-Christians that we should be sharing about Jesus. Some of the most powerful things that God has told me have been through other people. Sharing study and ideas and questions together should be something that is normal for us with our Christian friends.

What if we danced together and stood in awe of God's creation together and celebrated His goodness together, and called that 'church'?
We follow a God who is incredible and holy and worthy of our worship... and that doesn't have to just be through song on a Sunday morning. Let's go and see the world he's made and tell him how awesome it is, or celebrate and use the gifts that he's given us and give him the glory... let's get creative with the ways that we worship and glorify God.

What if we laughed together and cried together and shared our frustrations with each other and tried to support each other, and called that 'church'?
The bible teaches that the church is a family... that means we look out for each other. It means we hold our brothers and sisters when they're crying. It means we do whatever we can to help and to make life better. It means we listen to each other and help to carry one another's burdens.

I don't know about you... but church to me is so much more than an event on a Sunday and it includes so many more people that the others who I meet with on a Sunday morning. Church is the community of Jesus followers that God has put around me who I love doing all sorts of different things in life with. We share normality and service and study and worship and struggles and successes and so many other things, and we do it all day, on every day of the week... Including Sunday morning!

Why it's good to be vulnerable

I really struggle with small talk.

I love friendships and conversations that are sincere and deep. There is a time and a place for small talk and for discussing the weather and the price of eggs, but the heart of our friendships is formed on real conversation which demands honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favourite questions to ask my friends are 'what has God been teaching you lately?' and 'how is your heart?' - a question which says 'how are you?' without permission for an answer of 'I'm fine, how are you?'. 

I want to ask my friends questions which demonstrate to them that I really care about how they really are. I want to know about their struggles and their achievements, the things that they're excited about and the things that they fear. I want to have conversations about the things that we're learning. I want to reflect on life together and grow together.

It's in these conversations that friendships grow deep and that life really happens.

Deep conversations demand vulnerability. It's scary to share what's on your heart with another human being. But being willing to be vulnerable with the people we choose to be friends with is one of the most profitable things that we can do. It demonstrates trust, aids understanding and grows love.

In a few weeks time I'll be speaking at a youth event with the title 'Faith is Relational'. Its something I'm looking forward to exploring and writing because for a long time I've held the conviction that the most important things in life are our relationships with others. But if the best relationships with friends are the ones where we are willing to be vulnerable and share the depths of our hearts, surely the same applies to God? 

So many of our prayers are questions and requests... but some of the most powerful prayers are different from that. Some of the most powerful prayers are the one's where we just talk, where we say "God I'm so frustrated! I can't believe that this of all things would decide to happen today!" or "God I've had a brilliant day today, this happened and that happened and I'm so excited about this!"

God wants our hearts, not our lists. He is a relational God and he cares so deeply about each of us. Just like I want to hear from my friends about what is on their hearts, God wants the same from us. He wants us to trust him and love him and he wants to be there when we need to vent and when we want to get excited.

We're created as relational people and I truly believe that life is fuller when we're more open - with one another and with God.

So... How's your heart?

Why I'll never be satisfied and why that's a good thing

A while ago, a good friend of mine told me that he hopes that he is never satisfied in his relationship with God - that he hopes that he never reaches a place where he feels he is close enough to God.  I thought it was an odd thing to say, but I think I kind of get his point - God is so big and incredible that any state of thinking we've reached a place of knowing the fullness of him is surely an illusion.

There will always be more of God for me to know, there will always be a deeper intimacy with him available, and I so I should always be seeking more than I already have. 

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul wrote; "I want to know Christ... not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."

The pursuit is unrelenting; the thirst for more of God is unquenchable. The more I find of Him, the more I want... and I find that really hard.

...but I'm beginning to learn that there is joy to be found in running towards God. With each step that takes me closer towards Him, I find a joy I've never known elsewhere. With each step deeper into intimacy with Him I experience more and more of his love - a love sweeter that I know how to describe. 

There is a song I've been listening to for a while called 'In Over My Head' (Which you can listen to here), the lyrics do a better job of describing this than I do...

I have come to this place in my life I’m full but I’ve not satisfied This longing to have more of YouI can feel it my heart is convincedI’m thirsty my soul can’t be quenched ... 

...Take me back to the place where my heart was only about YouAnd all I wanted was just to be with You... 

...Further and further my heart moves away from the shoreWhatever it looks like, whatever may come I am Yours

The longing is insatiable, but the depths of intimacy with my creator are bottomless. But there is joy in the pursuit of Him and I'm only just beginning to discover it.

Now is Great

"So what are you going to do after you graduate?" must be the most common question that I get asked at the moment. 
The truth is, just like most other people I know who are at the same stage in their lives; I'm less sure now that I ever have been...

In our over organised British culture, this can be a terrifying place to be.

My life is dotted with lists and spreadsheets and calendars. I have always loved to plan - I love to know what's happening next and what I need to do now to be ready for it.

But now, with one year left of my degree, I don't know what's next. I don't know whether I'll get a job or an internship or go travelling or study more... I don't know where I'll live or who I'll live with, I don't know how much money I'll have and what my budget will be. I don't know. And I'm learning that that is okay. 

I'm learning that "now is great" and that enjoying the moment is an incredibly fulfilling way to live. 

How do I reconcile this with my ever-British compulsive need to have a plan? ...well, I do have a plan - I just don't know what it is!...

A good friend of mine from Uganda recently asked me what my expectations were for a Christian festival that I'm going to. He was genuinely shocked by my answer; "I don't know... whatever God wants to do." My friend explained that its such a counter-cultural attitude compared to his experience of most English people (and his experience of me a couple of years back!). Its an attitude that I'm learning to embrace because I know that my God has a plan and I don't always have to know what it is.

So what am I going to do after I graduate? I'm going to love God and love the people he puts in front of me. I'm going to do my best to trust him and follow him wherever he takes me and do whatever he asks me to do. I'm going to embrace not knowing because I never imagined that life would be how it is now, but God brought me here and now is great!

Let's not get so caught up in trying to figure out what to do next that we forget to live right now. Let's not worry so much about the future that we miss what's going on around us in the moment. Life is brilliant! Embrace it! Stop and look around and soak in all the details of a life you're living right now. Put the future into God's hands because there will always be a future to worry about but there is only ever one 'right now'.

(One of) The Best Jobs in the World

Call me mad but this weekend I took a group of 8-18 year olds camping at SPREE 2015! Our young people spent the weekend playing on inflatables, swimming, squirting each other with water pistols and making fires. We ate some amazing food, ran around in the woods, sat on the grass making friendship bracelets and chatted about God's love and rescue plan.

Youth work is exhausting... somehow, in a weekend we attempted to build relationships, introduce young people to Jesus, keep them hydrated and fed, prevent sunburn, deal with scrapes, not lose anyone, entertain everyone, find lost possessions, teach kids how to be responsible, answer really deep theological questions... I could go on! And all that on 4 hours sleep! (Yes, they got up with the sun at 5am!)

But the truth is, although I came home on Sunday evening with absolutely no energy left, I came home with a real gratitude to God for the work that I get to do. I may deal with a lot of drama and madness and yes, sometimes my young people drive me slightly crazy, but I have a love for them beyond any capacity I ever thought myself capable of. I get to chat and laugh and cry with them. I get to pray with them and share my faith with them. I get to watch them grow as they let God transform them and I get to journey with them through their struggles and trials.

2 years ago the one thing that I was sure I would never do was youth work - I wasn't cool enough or capable enough for that... but as I've trusted him, God has shown me what it means to let him work through us. 2 years ago I didn't think myself capable of loving this many people this much, but as I've prayed, God has grown my heart to truly and genuinely love these young people in a way that only he can, and has opened my eyes to see these young people how he sees them.

So whether I'm cleaning up mess, comforting a frightened 10 year old, disciplining a cheeky teenager or praying with an excited group of young girls, I do it all from a place of love that only my heavenly Father can make. I do it all only because my God is so much bigger than my own abilities and self-expectations and I give him all the glory and thanks because he's blessed me so much to spend my time investing in these precious young lives.

Beauty and Brokenness

I've written and re-written this post so many times now... what I'm trying to express is close to being inexpressible... and yet my heart is crying so loud about it that I can't give up on trying to put it into words.

There is such a tension in my heart... 

Part of me wants to send everyone to Africa. I want everyone to spend time living with local people and learning about the culture and letting Africa capture your heart in the same way that it has done to mine. I want you to go and live and experience and understand... because no words that I can write or speak will ever express what Africa has taught me.

Africa is so beautiful and we have so much to learn from her and her people. In Africa, I learnt the real meaning of generosity. I learnt the real meaning of selflessness. I learnt how valuable and precious each individual person is. I learnt how to celebrate. I learnt what joy is. I learnt what it means to have strength and courage. And I want everyone to learn all of this too.

And yet, another part of me wants to stop anyone from ever having anything to do with Africa... I want to protect this beautiful continent and her incredible, strong, loving and gracious people from the broken world that the west is. I can see the effect of globalization and my heart breaks when I see well meaning people from the west inadvertently robbing Africa of what makes her Africa. In our arrogant state we assume that we can be the hero and fix the problems of Africa, but we fail to recognize the brokenness of our own culture and we don't realize that we're dripping our own brokenness into this precious continent... whilst we might be helping in some ways, we're only breaking her in other ways in the process.

But among all of this is the evil reality of extreme poverty. How can any of us stand back and continue in our selfish, luxurious lives, knowing that families are starving and hurting and dying and being stripped of their dignity? My African friends teach me daily that poverty is not faceless. Poverty is something which effects real people who are individuals with likes and dislikes and hopes and dreams. They have gifts and talents and hurts and challenges... they all have a story. These are real people and I wish we could understand that and stop talking about "poverty" and start talking about people... and then start doing something about it.

...but my prayer is that we can do something about it by working together and recognizing how much we have to learn, and how much everyone has to offer. My prayer is that in fighting the injustice we call "poverty", none of us will lose who we are, but instead, we'll learn from each other, hope together, love one another and celebrate together. 

Everyone should have a close friend who is living with poverty... then maybe we might all understand that people are real, and that poverty is unfair, and that we all hold the solution.

But actually, no one should have a close friend who is living with poverty... because poverty shouldn't exist. Perhaps if we gave each other a chance, we could learn how to overcome it together.

Joy

I am so lucky to have what I have. Through the generosity of others and the grace of God I live in a heated house with my own bedroom, I sleep in a comfortable bed and eat three meals a day, I have my own phone and laptop and even a car.

And yet, sometimes all I want is to sleep on a thin foam mattress on a concrete floor under a net. I want to walk to the bore hole to fetch some water so that I can bathe outside and wash my clothes in a bucket. I want to spend hours picking stones and dirt out of beans and rice and then cook them over charcoal. I want to sit on the floor in the evenings reading the bible by candlelight with friends and singing worship to our incredible God.

Evening devotions in Kuffu 2013

I’m so grateful for the incredible generosity that people have shown to me, but I believe that joy has very little to do with the things that we have. The reason that I love life in the village so much is not because I enjoy carrying jerry cans full of water and sweating over a charcoal stove, but because these things remind me of a truly joyful time; a time when I discovered that joy is so much deeper and so much simpler than the things that we think we need. I was living and working with people I loved, doing what we all knew that God had called us to. We had no flushing toilets or running water, let alone electricity or internet, so we spent our free time talking, singing, reading and praying. We invested our time in our relationships with each other and with God rather than in our Facebook profiles and the shows we might watch on TV.

Kuffu bore hole 2013

When we strip away all the "stuff" we have, we might think that life would be difficult. For some people; those who really do have less than they need, life actually is difficult and that is a total injustice. But that's a whole different issue (and don't get me started!)... When we know that the necessities are taken care of, we give ourselves a chance to come back to a much a simpler way of a life and to realize that all the luxuries have very little effect on how happy we really are.

In the UK, society is constantly telling us that we need more things and more comfort… but perhaps sometimes we need to stop listening to that, and to realise where our joy really comes from. My most joyful moments are not those when I watch a film or check Facebook; they're times when I'm with friends and family and doing the things I know that God has called me to. I feel the most blessed not when I eat a good meal or curl up in a warm bed, but when I get to see God at work and to know that he's let me play a small part in that. 

Whether I'm in a rural village in the middle of Uganda, or a little town in the middle of the Isle of Wight, I believe that the things I have or don't have will have very little effect on my true joy. That is something that comes through relationships - with those people that God places in our lives and above all; with God himself. In these, I know that I'm truly blessed wherever I am in the world!

If you want to find out about my life as a student youth worker on the Isle of Wight, have a read of my other blog at http://gunvillemethodistyouthwork.blogspot.co.uk/

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