#ItsNotJesus

There are 2 viral hashtags going around at the moment, #thingschristianwomenhear and #youdontknowevangelicals

Reading through twitter this evening, some of them have made me laugh out loud:

#youdontknowevangelicals if you've never had Church leaders prefer you being taught Christian doctrine by cartoon vegetables than by a woman

#youdontknowevangelicals if you've never walked into an unexpectedly empty house and wondered if the Rapture happened without you

Others have made me cringe with regret and sadness at the way that people have been treated by others in the church... 

That people in the church are making people feel inadequate, undervalued and disrespected is not okay. But whilst it might be common, it's not Jesus.

I see plenty of hurt in the church - too much... it's caused and inflicted by broken people. But the truth is that even when the church has let you down, Jesus hasn't - and he wont. There are those in the church (and in the rest of the world!) who oppress and blame and undervalue and mistreat. But there are also those in the world who really are being used by God... these are the people who build up and restore and listen and care. They encourage and invest in others and love deeply and fight for justice.

This is the church that I know and am proud to be a part of... we don't pretend to be perfect. The church is centred on the fact that we're broken and sinful and in need of a saviour. Even the most decent people will inflict pain at some point in their lives. But we do have a saviour. A saviour who radically fought against an oppressive culture and spoke of limitless love, generosity and peace. A saviour who defeated the power of sin and death and promised a future of hope.

So, here's my hands up - I am a Christian, I am an evangelical, I am flawed, I am sorry... But I know a God who loves me in my brokenness and chooses to use this messed up church to bring his hope to all the world.

Why it's good to be vulnerable

I really struggle with small talk.

I love friendships and conversations that are sincere and deep. There is a time and a place for small talk and for discussing the weather and the price of eggs, but the heart of our friendships is formed on real conversation which demands honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favourite questions to ask my friends are 'what has God been teaching you lately?' and 'how is your heart?' - a question which says 'how are you?' without permission for an answer of 'I'm fine, how are you?'. 

I want to ask my friends questions which demonstrate to them that I really care about how they really are. I want to know about their struggles and their achievements, the things that they're excited about and the things that they fear. I want to have conversations about the things that we're learning. I want to reflect on life together and grow together.

It's in these conversations that friendships grow deep and that life really happens.

Deep conversations demand vulnerability. It's scary to share what's on your heart with another human being. But being willing to be vulnerable with the people we choose to be friends with is one of the most profitable things that we can do. It demonstrates trust, aids understanding and grows love.

In a few weeks time I'll be speaking at a youth event with the title 'Faith is Relational'. Its something I'm looking forward to exploring and writing because for a long time I've held the conviction that the most important things in life are our relationships with others. But if the best relationships with friends are the ones where we are willing to be vulnerable and share the depths of our hearts, surely the same applies to God? 

So many of our prayers are questions and requests... but some of the most powerful prayers are different from that. Some of the most powerful prayers are the one's where we just talk, where we say "God I'm so frustrated! I can't believe that this of all things would decide to happen today!" or "God I've had a brilliant day today, this happened and that happened and I'm so excited about this!"

God wants our hearts, not our lists. He is a relational God and he cares so deeply about each of us. Just like I want to hear from my friends about what is on their hearts, God wants the same from us. He wants us to trust him and love him and he wants to be there when we need to vent and when we want to get excited.

We're created as relational people and I truly believe that life is fuller when we're more open - with one another and with God.

So... How's your heart?

Beauty and Brokenness

I've written and re-written this post so many times now... what I'm trying to express is close to being inexpressible... and yet my heart is crying so loud about it that I can't give up on trying to put it into words.

There is such a tension in my heart... 

Part of me wants to send everyone to Africa. I want everyone to spend time living with local people and learning about the culture and letting Africa capture your heart in the same way that it has done to mine. I want you to go and live and experience and understand... because no words that I can write or speak will ever express what Africa has taught me.

Africa is so beautiful and we have so much to learn from her and her people. In Africa, I learnt the real meaning of generosity. I learnt the real meaning of selflessness. I learnt how valuable and precious each individual person is. I learnt how to celebrate. I learnt what joy is. I learnt what it means to have strength and courage. And I want everyone to learn all of this too.

And yet, another part of me wants to stop anyone from ever having anything to do with Africa... I want to protect this beautiful continent and her incredible, strong, loving and gracious people from the broken world that the west is. I can see the effect of globalization and my heart breaks when I see well meaning people from the west inadvertently robbing Africa of what makes her Africa. In our arrogant state we assume that we can be the hero and fix the problems of Africa, but we fail to recognize the brokenness of our own culture and we don't realize that we're dripping our own brokenness into this precious continent... whilst we might be helping in some ways, we're only breaking her in other ways in the process.

But among all of this is the evil reality of extreme poverty. How can any of us stand back and continue in our selfish, luxurious lives, knowing that families are starving and hurting and dying and being stripped of their dignity? My African friends teach me daily that poverty is not faceless. Poverty is something which effects real people who are individuals with likes and dislikes and hopes and dreams. They have gifts and talents and hurts and challenges... they all have a story. These are real people and I wish we could understand that and stop talking about "poverty" and start talking about people... and then start doing something about it.

...but my prayer is that we can do something about it by working together and recognizing how much we have to learn, and how much everyone has to offer. My prayer is that in fighting the injustice we call "poverty", none of us will lose who we are, but instead, we'll learn from each other, hope together, love one another and celebrate together. 

Everyone should have a close friend who is living with poverty... then maybe we might all understand that people are real, and that poverty is unfair, and that we all hold the solution.

But actually, no one should have a close friend who is living with poverty... because poverty shouldn't exist. Perhaps if we gave each other a chance, we could learn how to overcome it together.

Why teenagers can be some of the most inspirational people you'll meet

I feel so blessed to work with the young people that God has put in my life... they're all incredible, beautiful, loving people and although sometimes they act like the young teenagers that everyone expects them to be, they so often they just blow me away with their maturity and wisdom when I give them my time and the opportunity to show it.

Being 13 is really hard; I wouldn't want to go back and battle my way through all the dramas of secondary school again, but looking back I know that I actually had it really easy compared to some of these girls that I work with. As if growing up in itself isn't hard enough, some kids can be so cruel to each other, some homes aren't the kind of places that you'd really want to spend much time, some families are broken in unimaginable ways and some young people have to deal with so much that most people don't even know about.

The girls that I work with are incredible. Behind all the giggles and teenage drama are a bunch of young girls who are navigating their way through life as they start to become young women. They think deeply and love passionately and hurt terribly and care strongly. 
They have hopes and dreams and they're desperate to grow into young women who will not only fulfill their dreams but to help others too.

Ultimately, they just want to love and to know that they are loved and all they're trying to do is figure out how to make sure that that is a reality. Love is such a powerful thing and I've seen massive transformation in some young people just by having people in their lives who choose to genuinely believe that they are amazing and to tell them that.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that my young people blow me away. Most of the time that I spend with them is filled with games, hot chocolate and giggles... but every now and then, one of them will come out with a little gem and tell me something, or ask a question, or do something that reminds me quite how deeply they think, care and love. I praise God that he would give me the privilege of watching him work in these beautiful, incredible young lives.

Stuart

Just over a year ago, I met a child called Stuart. Stuart was once a healthy little boy, but on the day that I met him, Stuart's mother had been asked to pay double the usual fare to bring her son on public transport because the driver had thought that he was a corpse. Stuart was suffering terribly from Cerebral Palsy that he had developed after contracting malaria, which spread to his brain when his family couldn't afford to treat it.
Children with cerebral palsy need regular physiotherapy to stretch out their tight muscles, but nobody had known that this was what Stuart needed, and so his condition had worsened until his body was so tense that people actually thought that he was dead.

I'll never forget the day that I met Stuart. He was indeed alive that day, but there was no life in his eyes. It was one of the most haunting and devastating things I'd ever seen. This was what I wrote in my diary that day:

"Stuart was really, really thin. It reminded me of photos I've seen from the holocaust. He looked at me with wide eyes but there was just nothing there. Moses started his physiotherapy and he cried with such a horrific look in his eyes, but there was just no life behind them; it was horrible."

Last week I was told the sad news that Stuart passed away this summer. I never knew Stuart when he was healthy, but I hope that someday I'll meet him in a place where he is more alive than ever.

The truth is that Stuart died because he lived in poverty. If he had had access to proper malaria prevention and treatment, Stuart would still be a healthy little boy running and playing in his village in Uganda today.

Stuart and his Mum

The truth is also that many people will read this blog, and feel sad for a moment, but then close the window and continue with their day. I often do the same because its easier and less painful to distance ourselves from the injustice in the world and its much more comfortable to make no effort to do anything about it.
So while we enjoy coffees out with friends, nice new smartphones, an endless supply of clean water and all the other things that we take for granted, somebody's child is dying. 

If a member of your family was in the same situation, few of us would even have to think at all before we did something to help them. But for those of us who are Christians, these people really are our brothers and sisters. If we actually acted that way, the world might be a very different place.

I can't tell you specifically what to do about this... God calls each of us to act differently and who am I to know how to combat poverty anyway!? But what I do know is that if we don't do anything, then nothing is going to change, So please... before you click on the little 'X' in the corner of your screen... take a moment to decide what you are going to do about the injustice in this world, and then actually do it.

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Kisaakye Rehabilitation Centre is a locally run charity that works with disabled children in villages in the Kayunga District of Uganda where I met Stuart. They gave me permission to share Stuart's story, and they continue to work with many other children in similar situations. Tragically, this week another child that they work with died. Her name was Amazing Grace. Kisaakye desperately need support to continue the work that they do and to prevent this story from repeating for more children. They have a Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/kisaakye.rehabilitation