Why it's good to be vulnerable

I really struggle with small talk.

I love friendships and conversations that are sincere and deep. There is a time and a place for small talk and for discussing the weather and the price of eggs, but the heart of our friendships is formed on real conversation which demands honesty and vulnerability. Two of my favourite questions to ask my friends are 'what has God been teaching you lately?' and 'how is your heart?' - a question which says 'how are you?' without permission for an answer of 'I'm fine, how are you?'. 

I want to ask my friends questions which demonstrate to them that I really care about how they really are. I want to know about their struggles and their achievements, the things that they're excited about and the things that they fear. I want to have conversations about the things that we're learning. I want to reflect on life together and grow together.

It's in these conversations that friendships grow deep and that life really happens.

Deep conversations demand vulnerability. It's scary to share what's on your heart with another human being. But being willing to be vulnerable with the people we choose to be friends with is one of the most profitable things that we can do. It demonstrates trust, aids understanding and grows love.

In a few weeks time I'll be speaking at a youth event with the title 'Faith is Relational'. Its something I'm looking forward to exploring and writing because for a long time I've held the conviction that the most important things in life are our relationships with others. But if the best relationships with friends are the ones where we are willing to be vulnerable and share the depths of our hearts, surely the same applies to God? 

So many of our prayers are questions and requests... but some of the most powerful prayers are different from that. Some of the most powerful prayers are the one's where we just talk, where we say "God I'm so frustrated! I can't believe that this of all things would decide to happen today!" or "God I've had a brilliant day today, this happened and that happened and I'm so excited about this!"

God wants our hearts, not our lists. He is a relational God and he cares so deeply about each of us. Just like I want to hear from my friends about what is on their hearts, God wants the same from us. He wants us to trust him and love him and he wants to be there when we need to vent and when we want to get excited.

We're created as relational people and I truly believe that life is fuller when we're more open - with one another and with God.

So... How's your heart?

Why teenagers can be some of the most inspirational people you'll meet

I feel so blessed to work with the young people that God has put in my life... they're all incredible, beautiful, loving people and although sometimes they act like the young teenagers that everyone expects them to be, they so often they just blow me away with their maturity and wisdom when I give them my time and the opportunity to show it.

Being 13 is really hard; I wouldn't want to go back and battle my way through all the dramas of secondary school again, but looking back I know that I actually had it really easy compared to some of these girls that I work with. As if growing up in itself isn't hard enough, some kids can be so cruel to each other, some homes aren't the kind of places that you'd really want to spend much time, some families are broken in unimaginable ways and some young people have to deal with so much that most people don't even know about.

The girls that I work with are incredible. Behind all the giggles and teenage drama are a bunch of young girls who are navigating their way through life as they start to become young women. They think deeply and love passionately and hurt terribly and care strongly. 
They have hopes and dreams and they're desperate to grow into young women who will not only fulfill their dreams but to help others too.

Ultimately, they just want to love and to know that they are loved and all they're trying to do is figure out how to make sure that that is a reality. Love is such a powerful thing and I've seen massive transformation in some young people just by having people in their lives who choose to genuinely believe that they are amazing and to tell them that.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that my young people blow me away. Most of the time that I spend with them is filled with games, hot chocolate and giggles... but every now and then, one of them will come out with a little gem and tell me something, or ask a question, or do something that reminds me quite how deeply they think, care and love. I praise God that he would give me the privilege of watching him work in these beautiful, incredible young lives.