Beauty and Brokenness

I've written and re-written this post so many times now... what I'm trying to express is close to being inexpressible... and yet my heart is crying so loud about it that I can't give up on trying to put it into words.

There is such a tension in my heart... 

Part of me wants to send everyone to Africa. I want everyone to spend time living with local people and learning about the culture and letting Africa capture your heart in the same way that it has done to mine. I want you to go and live and experience and understand... because no words that I can write or speak will ever express what Africa has taught me.

Africa is so beautiful and we have so much to learn from her and her people. In Africa, I learnt the real meaning of generosity. I learnt the real meaning of selflessness. I learnt how valuable and precious each individual person is. I learnt how to celebrate. I learnt what joy is. I learnt what it means to have strength and courage. And I want everyone to learn all of this too.

And yet, another part of me wants to stop anyone from ever having anything to do with Africa... I want to protect this beautiful continent and her incredible, strong, loving and gracious people from the broken world that the west is. I can see the effect of globalization and my heart breaks when I see well meaning people from the west inadvertently robbing Africa of what makes her Africa. In our arrogant state we assume that we can be the hero and fix the problems of Africa, but we fail to recognize the brokenness of our own culture and we don't realize that we're dripping our own brokenness into this precious continent... whilst we might be helping in some ways, we're only breaking her in other ways in the process.

But among all of this is the evil reality of extreme poverty. How can any of us stand back and continue in our selfish, luxurious lives, knowing that families are starving and hurting and dying and being stripped of their dignity? My African friends teach me daily that poverty is not faceless. Poverty is something which effects real people who are individuals with likes and dislikes and hopes and dreams. They have gifts and talents and hurts and challenges... they all have a story. These are real people and I wish we could understand that and stop talking about "poverty" and start talking about people... and then start doing something about it.

...but my prayer is that we can do something about it by working together and recognizing how much we have to learn, and how much everyone has to offer. My prayer is that in fighting the injustice we call "poverty", none of us will lose who we are, but instead, we'll learn from each other, hope together, love one another and celebrate together. 

Everyone should have a close friend who is living with poverty... then maybe we might all understand that people are real, and that poverty is unfair, and that we all hold the solution.

But actually, no one should have a close friend who is living with poverty... because poverty shouldn't exist. Perhaps if we gave each other a chance, we could learn how to overcome it together.

Paper Beads

This week and last I've been teaching some of the girls that I work with how to make beads - the same way that I was taught in a little wooden church in a slum community called Nabulagala in Kampala. Its been great fun and the girls are enjoying it and are excited about the jewelry that we're going to make together. Its made me so happy to see them embracing this and to know that this is something that I learnt from Uganda that I've been able to pass on as a skill in the UK - I believe that we all can learn from each other, and to see a small part of this actually happening in what I'm doing is exciting!

There is a tension in my heart between my heart for Uganda and my heart for the young people that God has called me to work with at the moment. I'm honestly so blessed by the young people that I work with. They're all beautiful and creative and unique. They never fail to make me laugh, some of them make me cry (for them, not because of them!), they inspire me, they teach me (without even realizing they're doing it) and I'm incredibly grateful to get to work with them. 

Some of our paper beads next to a necklace from Uganda

One of my young people asked me to help her to pray recently. When I asked what she wanted to pray about, she said 'that God will help the people in Uganda.' I smiled and prayed with her. I've always said to the girls that I'll be honest with them - they know that they can ask me anything and I'll be open. That means that they know all kinds of random facts about me, but it also means that they know how I feel about Uganda and this sweet little girl echoed my heart in her prayer. My prayer, is that all of these girls will also know that they are equally as precious to me... I hope that they know that they are the reason I am still here.

There's not a lot I can do about the things, people and places I hold in my heart. Some are relatively easy, like keeping up with friends and family in the UK, some are not so simple and somehow, I have to make them work together... my prayer is that rather than my girls feeling like my heart is elsewhere, this will actually have the opposite effect, and that in knowing what I'm sacrificing to stay here, these girls will understand how precious they are to me and that this might just reveal to them a small shadow of how precious they are to God.

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If you'd like to buy some jewelry from Uganda, I still have a few bits for sale and all the money will go towards a youth ministry that a friend of mine runs in Kampala.

If you'd like to read a bit more about my youth work, I keep a youth work blog here.

Nothing I can do...

God has been challenging me recently about why I do what I do. Its always great when I hear that my young people love our groups and activities. Its amazing when I get to see how God is having an impact in their lives. Its lovely to sometimes hear people say that I'm doing well - encouragement is really important and something that I'm always so grateful for... but somehow I've managed to find myself beginning to believe that in all of this - in pleasing people; in 'doing a good job', I was somehow pleasing God.

The truth is that I could never hope to do anything that is good enough to please God.

That is what is so incredible about grace. I believe in a gospel of salvation by grace. I believe in a God who loved me while I was still broken. I believe in a God who made a way for me to be righteous whilst I was still a sinner. I believe in a God who has loved me from the beginning of time.

God knew how much I would mess up. He knew that I would be imperfect. He knew all the silly things that I would do, all the mistakes I would make, all the hurt I would cause, and he chose to breathe life into me regardless.

There is nothing that I can ever do to make God love me any more, and nothing I can ever do to make him love me any less. I could turn my back on the work that God has called me to and mess up my life more than anyone could ever imagine, but God would still be standing there with arms outstretched, waiting for me to come home. 

My faith, my relationship with God, my salvation and my hope does not rest on what I can ever do for God. It rests in the incredible, outrageous grace and love of my extraordinary God, who loves me simply because he loves me. My obedience to his will and his command is secondary to that - it is for my own good, because his plan for my life is the best plan for my life. In trying to obey him, I'm simply submitting to the fact that he knows what is best for me better that I do.

The love of God is outrageous and I hope that I will always remember that God loves me because he loves me - not because of anything that I can hope to achieve for him.

If you're interested in what I get up to in my role as a YTP youth worker with Isle of Wight YFC, have a read of this blog... http://gunvillemethodistyouthwork.blogspot.co.uk/2015/01/winter.html

Why Giving is Not the Answer to Poverty

"Tired of the way they portray you in the media, So I'm trying to bring change in the way that they see ya. Mother who gave birth to the children of Africa."

These are lyrics from a song called "Letter to TINA" by Fuse ODG in response to 2014's Band Aid single. Its from his album "TINA" which stands for "This Is New Africa" and I just love the message of it... 

"It's like were fighting the media, They show us the wrong vibe I've been reading up.I'm trying to show a different side to what they're feeding us. Time to regurgitate the lies we've been eating up."

I can only write from what I know, and that is only a few people in a small part of a small country in Africa. But what I can write from my experience, in absolute confidence is that the people of Africa are beautiful and generous and determined and incredible. I believe that many of us have so much more to gain and learn from the people of Africa than we can ever hope to offer them in return and it breaks my heart that as a continent, Africa is so often portrayed in a way that strips people of their dignity and that shows only a small part of what makes Africa Africa.

Poverty is cruel and unjust and wrong... there is no question about that and my heart will forever be broken by suffering caused by the injustice in this world, but perhaps we need to reassess the way that we fight poverty.

I don't believe that the answer to poverty is to give out food and clothing and shelter. By giving out hand-outs, the symptoms of poverty might be quenched for a short while, but the monster itself is only fed and the solution is unsustainable. I believe that the answer to poverty is to empower people. This way, people can reach a point where they are able to provide their own food and clothing and shelter and whatever else they chose to get, but they will not only have the physical things that they need, but also dignity, purpose and hope that their dreams are actually achievable.

"I'm making music because I want to change the perception of Africa.When I was younger...The perception of Africa was kids with flies around their mouth's and hunger and poverty and stuff like that.But we're grown now, were successful men, were doing our thing."

So please, let's stand with our brothers and sisters as we seek to fight this awful evil that we call poverty, but let's recognize that each and every individual has a purpose and has something incredible to offer, and let's expect to be humbled by the ocean of wisdom, determination, passion and potential that I believe Africa has.

There are countless ways to support and stand with our brothers and sisters... but here are just a few that I think are brilliant:

- Microfinance
By providing zero or low interest loans and the right support and training to people who have an idea, they can be empowered to set up their own business to support and provide for themselves and their families long term.
http://www.lendwithcare.org/

- Child Sponsorship
"Education is Power" was the motto at a school I used to teach at. An education unlocks the door to so many opportunities, and sponsorship is a way to give children across the world an education when their own families might not be able to pay for school fees.
http://www.smileinternational.org/sponsor-a-child.aspx
http://www.compassionuk.org/?gclid=CO_s3Ye9icMCFSWJ2wod9iQAGg

- Prayer
Prayer is the most powerful thing we have. I believe in a God of love, power and wisdom, and we should all be standing in prayer with our brothers and sisters around the world.

Listen to the song: "Letter to TINA" here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYScLhEZC9I

Why teenagers can be some of the most inspirational people you'll meet

I feel so blessed to work with the young people that God has put in my life... they're all incredible, beautiful, loving people and although sometimes they act like the young teenagers that everyone expects them to be, they so often they just blow me away with their maturity and wisdom when I give them my time and the opportunity to show it.

Being 13 is really hard; I wouldn't want to go back and battle my way through all the dramas of secondary school again, but looking back I know that I actually had it really easy compared to some of these girls that I work with. As if growing up in itself isn't hard enough, some kids can be so cruel to each other, some homes aren't the kind of places that you'd really want to spend much time, some families are broken in unimaginable ways and some young people have to deal with so much that most people don't even know about.

The girls that I work with are incredible. Behind all the giggles and teenage drama are a bunch of young girls who are navigating their way through life as they start to become young women. They think deeply and love passionately and hurt terribly and care strongly. 
They have hopes and dreams and they're desperate to grow into young women who will not only fulfill their dreams but to help others too.

Ultimately, they just want to love and to know that they are loved and all they're trying to do is figure out how to make sure that that is a reality. Love is such a powerful thing and I've seen massive transformation in some young people just by having people in their lives who choose to genuinely believe that they are amazing and to tell them that.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that my young people blow me away. Most of the time that I spend with them is filled with games, hot chocolate and giggles... but every now and then, one of them will come out with a little gem and tell me something, or ask a question, or do something that reminds me quite how deeply they think, care and love. I praise God that he would give me the privilege of watching him work in these beautiful, incredible young lives.

Ali and David

I believe that a huge part of discipleship happens when we serve God by serving others, and along the way we learn more about him and about how we can live for him.

Two of my friends on the island are planning a trip next year that I'm so excited about because I know how much God can and will do in others and in them through their trip. Two of the things that I'm most passionate about are discipleship and social justice... and I think this trip will incorporate both.

My friends are planning to go to a country in the South East of Africa called Mozambique. God is doing some amazing things in Mozambique, and he's doing a lot of it through Iris Ministries. Ali and David are planning to spend some time working at Iris with some beautiful, precious people who rely on Jesus for their most basic needs.

Both of them light up when they talk about Mozambique... its so clear to see that God is in this plan. They are two of the most inspirational people I know and I'm not even exaggerating - their love and passion for Jesus blows me away and their obedience to him is incredible.

I'm so excited for both of them as they follow Jesus into this adventure, and I fully expect that he will use them there, but also that he will turn their worlds upside down and inside out, he will show them a new perspective, he will challenge them about things they have never considered and he will just grow in them hearts that are more like his own.

I really want to support Ali and David in this trip. They are both amazing, Godly, inspirational people who are just running towards Jesus and obediently going where he is calling them. I would love to encourage anyone who can, to lift them both in prayer over the coming months as they prepare and fund-raise. My prayer is that they will fall even more in love with Jesus, that God will grow in them hearts that are broken for the things that break his, that they will experience the privilege of being a part of God's plans and simply become more and more like him as he uses them to do the same for others.

If you don't know Ali & David but would like to support them in more ways than prayer, give me a shout and I'll be really happy to pass anything on!

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Have a look at my youth work blog at http://gunvillemethodistyouthwork.blogspot.co.uk/

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More than just Christmas boxes

In church this morning we took a moment to bring the Christmas boxes to the front and to pray for them and those that will receive them. It's so great that so many people get so involved in packing a shoebox and sending it off to someone who is less fortunate. I've handed them out myself and seen firsthand the joy on so many precious faces when they receive their Christmas gifts.

Christmas 2012 in Nansana

So let's not limit this to Christmas. A shoe-box will put a smile on a little one's face for a few moments and they will enjoy playing with a new toy and maybe get a new toothbrush and sponge, but tragically, many of these kids might still go hungry the next day. Many of these kids are still not in school. Many of these kids share a space on a mat on the floor at night with their siblings and walk to fetch water from a dirty spring.

Please do go ahead and pack a shoe-box, pack it with toys and toiletries and lots of love and prayers. Pack it because it will put a smile on the face of a precious little one this Christmas.

But please, please, please - have a serious think about how we can make sure that these kids get more than just a Christmas present this year. Some of us will probably spend more on gifts this Christmas than it would cost to educate a child for a year.

https://my.compassionuk.org/app/sponsor/campaign/

http://www.smileinternational.org/sponsor-a-child.aspx

Learning to read at school in Kuffu

If you're interested in what I get up to as a youthworker on the Isle of Wight, I keep a youth work blog here!

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